Why can shallow social intercourse cure young people？
With the "partner", we are no longer an island in the city.
The "partner" is on fire again. It seems that many young people need to do everything now, and for them, "everything can be done" and "they don’t want to go to the toilet/eat in the company without a partner".
Why is "partner" so important?
Everything can be built, and when it is finished, it will be scattered: shallow socialization and weak relationship
Netizens joked that "partners" are "friends in the vertical segmentation field", but in fact, the relationship between "partners" is often weaker than that of friends.
Mark granovetter, the former head of sociology department of Stanford University in the United States, has done research in the field of social networks for decades. In his article The Power of Weak Relationships, he used four indicators to measure the strength of interpersonal relationships: the length of time, the intensity of emotions, the degree of intimate trust and the degree of reciprocal behavior.
Unlike friends who need to "meet people for a long time", "partners" don’t need to get along for a long time and interact with each other frequently. Say hello on the way to add WeChat and become a "hiking partner"; You can form a team of teammates with a greeting in the game group and become a "game partner"; Sharing snacks with colleagues on the first day of joining a new company can become a "lunch partner" at lunch time. However, after the companion activity, everyone almost lost contact and no longer got along and interacted.
We will trust our friends and have emotional connection with them in all aspects, while "partners" are only close when they are partners. Think about it, if the "hiking partner" tells you how much he can’t let go of his ex after falling out of love after returning home, you may feel "a little strange"; Or "game partners" borrow money from you, and that’s probably because they met a liar.
Similarly, we will always help our friends, but the reciprocal behavior with "partners" usually only occurs in partner activities, or in things that don’t take much effort. For example, helping friends move and eating at home sounds normal; It may be ok to help the "lunch partner" find the snack link he bought. If it is to help take care of pets during the Chinese New Year, it will be a bit "out of bounds".
In short, we can see that the relationship between "partners" is generally weaker than that of friends in the above four aspects, and the social interaction between "partners" is a shallow social interaction.
Providing information, focusing on companionship: social support in shallow social interaction
Shallow social and weak relationships sound like there is no way to give us too strong support, but why is this kind of social relationship still desirable?
Because there are many kinds of social support, shallow social support can also play an important role.
Psychologists divide the social support we get from interpersonal relationships into four categories: emotional support, that is, caring, accepting emotions and verbal comfort; Physical comfort, such as a pat and a hug; Suggest support, such as providing information, information, or giving advice directly; Material support may be money or other tangible things.
Although friends can give us a lot of emotional support, physical comfort and even material support, shallow social interaction and weak relationships can often provide more information than friends, which will produce great value at a specific time. Granovett believes that shallow social relationships and weak relationships are widely distributed, so they are more likely to serve as bridges across social boundaries. For example, "hiking partners" and "playing partners" may be distributed in all walks of life. If we want to find a new job, the information and opportunities we get from them will be more and more useful than those we get from our friends.
This kind of support is especially useful for young people with unsafe attachment types. According to a study by American psychologists, people with alienated attachment types, that is, those who think that there is no way or need to get close to others in intimate relationships, will prefer specific advice support to emotional support. Therefore, for them, shallow socialization may be more comfortable.
In addition, no matter what kind of concrete support we can get from shallow social interaction, it is actually very important to think that "partners" can support ourselves. Psychological research has found that people’s perceived support is a more effective factor affecting relationship satisfaction and life satisfaction than the amount of objective and actual assistance. Therefore, everyone will say that "taking a partner" means "focusing on a companion". Even if two people don’t chat when eating, having a "lunch partner" will make people feel that "I am not alone", thus making it easier to wait in line for hot meals or take-out in the company. Even if two people are "good" and have a "game partner", people will feel more confident and will not be too wronged when they are abused or even ridiculed by their opponents.
In fact, as more and more young people flock to big cities, such shallow social activities will become more and more common. According to the research on residential mobility, people with high mobility will adopt friendship division strategy more when they grow up, that is, they will do specific things with different friends, such as turning friends into "partners" in different activities. Young people living in big cities are often faced with moving and job-hopping, and they are too far away from their friends. In the past, the mode of meeting friends every day is no longer applicable, so on the one hand, everyone will look for new "partners", on the other hand, they will regard their old friends as "partners" for different activities.
With the "partner", we are no longer an island in the city. No matter how social you are, I wish you always get enough information and good company.
(Yin Jinxiu)